Yup, another Spring, April, birthday. another year older and deeper in debt. I owe my soul to the company store. Not really, that is a line in an old song. I can not help that I do those things. Get off on another subject, lose my train of thought every second. ADHD and me is a blog that I really do not want to get into right now. It is better fitting for a book. So,,,,yup, when my sister was about to turn 38, hell, even when my ex husband turned 38 I felt this sort of unspoken pity for them because even though they were not yet 40, somehow, that magic number of 38 makes one realize that it is GOING to happen. You deny it all your life, you stumble over 30 still thinking that 40 is a make believe age. I know I can not be the only one who views my age this way. Or rather 38, not 37, not 39, but thirty eight!
I do not have any followers so technically, I am speaking to myself, cyberspace and no one in particular. No really, NO ONE. Yet, still like a wound up southern preacher, I asked my congregation rhetorical questions that I know the answer is obvious, but I just want to hear an AMEN! Thats all. Again, I digress and do not remember what this was about or even what I started to write about this time. I suppose it the age thing again. I am starting to realize all these years I have always shared thoughts of birthdays and crawfish and Easter as one big moment, one whole idea. Now, Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving are filled with thoughts and memories of dying and death and the most heart ripping pain I can think of and now, Easter, my birthday, my oldest sister, crawfish, and Spring will be filled with Chemo and pain and cancer. I am one of those olfactory sensory people. smells of all of this Wisteria growing reminds me of home and therefore I will add it to my list.
I was only 14 when my first love wore Drakar? spelling is not necessary but the point is, I still can not smell that cologne without memories of more than 25 years ago! Stupid, yeah, but is it like that for most people or am I just weird?
I do know a friend who once told me she loved the candy "swedish fish" (yuck but whatever) and something happened where she saw a picture in the background of the candy that made her hate it now. I suppose it is human and it is usually negative, not positive ,
Shift ADD, stay with me, positive reminded me that a lot of things have happened to our family lately that have truly been a positive thing, so much so that we knew God had his hand on it. However, as life goes, negative happens too. My mother having cancer, our never-ending calls from the debt collectors that we used to pay early and did not even owe debts. But just as things start to look like it may be time to start eating rice, something happens and unexpected money comes just in time. It is like this for a lot of families I know. I like to brag though. My husband lost some great people and great jobs that he had won but in return a man known for his "not so truthful ways" was more than honest with me and was the source of much needed funds. I am selling my crosses still even though they closed the original gallery they hung in. We are blessed and we do not TRY to complain. It happens however and then about that time another thing happens that reminds us what we need to be thankful for and Who needs the praise.
I hope this finds all of my 0 followers healthy, happy and "appreciative" I am out of here. Gotta go see a man about a pontoon bottom.
Sounds funny
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