Here I come, but I may be wearing an adult diaper

Yup, another Spring, April, birthday. another year older and deeper in debt. I owe my soul to the company store. Not really, that is a line in an old song. I can not help that I do those things. Get off on another subject, lose my train of thought every second. ADHD and me is a blog that I really do not want to get into right now. It is better fitting for a book. So,,,,yup, when my sister was about to turn 38, hell, even when my ex husband turned 38 I felt this sort of unspoken pity for them because even though they were not yet 40, somehow, that magic number of 38 makes one realize that it is GOING to happen. You deny it all your life, you stumble over 30 still thinking that 40 is a make believe age. I know I can not be the only one who views my age this way. Or rather 38, not 37, not 39, but thirty eight!
  I do not have any followers so technically, I am speaking to myself, cyberspace and no one in particular. No really, NO ONE. Yet, still like a wound up southern preacher, I asked my congregation rhetorical questions that I know the answer is obvious, but I just want to hear an AMEN! Thats all. Again, I digress and do not remember what this was about or even what I started to write about this time. I suppose it the age thing again. I am starting to realize all these years I have always shared thoughts of birthdays and crawfish and Easter as one big moment, one whole idea. Now, Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving are filled with thoughts and memories of dying and death and the most heart ripping pain I can think of and now, Easter, my birthday, my oldest sister, crawfish, and Spring will be filled with Chemo and pain and cancer. I am one of those olfactory sensory people. smells of all of this Wisteria growing reminds me of home and therefore I will add it to my list.
I was only 14 when my first love wore Drakar? spelling is not necessary but the point is, I still can not smell that cologne without memories of more than 25 years ago! Stupid, yeah, but is it like that for most people or am I just weird?
I do know a friend who once told me she loved the candy "swedish fish" (yuck but whatever) and something happened where she saw a picture in the background of the candy that made her hate it now. I suppose it is human and it is usually negative, not positive ,
Shift ADD, stay with me, positive reminded me that a lot of things have happened to our family lately that have truly been a positive thing, so much so that we knew God had his hand on it. However, as life goes, negative happens too. My mother having cancer, our never-ending calls from the debt collectors that we used to pay early and did not even owe debts. But just as things start to look like it may be time to start eating rice, something happens and unexpected money comes just in time. It is like this for a lot of families I know. I like to brag though. My husband lost some great people and great jobs that he had won but in return a man known for his "not so truthful ways" was more than honest with me and was the source of much needed funds. I am selling my crosses still even though they closed the original gallery they hung in. We are blessed and we do not TRY to complain. It happens however and then about that time another thing happens that reminds us what we need to be thankful for and Who needs the praise.
I hope this finds all of my 0 followers healthy, happy and "appreciative" I am out of here. Gotta go see a man about a pontoon bottom.
Sounds funny

I need help

Fine, I suppose I will just admit it. I am the worst blogger I have seen. I do not compare to those fancy blogs I keep finding, green with envy because they have followers, they have been featured and probably are making some money. Me.........well I wrote 5 different blogs and just found out that absolutely none of them were published. No, wait, they are nowhere to be found!
  Okay, I need someone to guide me. Perhaps blogging should be like AA where you have a sponsor. Yeah, it van be an app. ooh , gotta run and see if I can manage to post this and/or find out how to suggest this great idea. Do I get to choose who it is? Will they even want to rear an infant blogger? we shall see...
Hey, if somebody is out there willing..........I am open to ideas and suggestions that do not include the following words"give it up girl, you are one lump of clay that I will not be able to even form into a ball!"

Gotta Go Guys

Well, Officially, this is my first Blog under my new and improved layout. Yeah. But, sadly, I must end it due to my lacking immune system. Yup, me, the once, athletic, kickin boys butt (okay, I was in fifth grade but still.....I did indeed), never really ever sick much or even had a day in the hospital over some silly virus or bacteria but its all there in black and white. Oh, and I may add in black as in fungus under my fingernails (yuck!) but my immune system is not even strong enough to fight off THAT! So, I really should not be in be inhaling dust from old barns, underneath old homes (Sorry Scott) but I do not know how I am going to stop. It is a disease in itself.
Well, I do know how I am going to stop. For one, I am going to be very ill for the next few months as nurses come to my house and stick me in the stomach with some IV sort of thingy while I have to be still and recieve someone else's health immunities for approximately 2 hours. Look up CVID. It is not a pretty thing and it is also inherited. Thanks Mom and Dad, you really should have thought about that 5th cousin thing before you went and had 5 children. Just kidding. I probably picked it up somewhere in Taiwan except I think you actually have to go there.....
So, on with it. I am selling the goods. And when I say selling them, I do mean selling them all. If I do not, then I will be tempted to keep it up. This does not mean I will not be posting about my lovely senior daughter who has determined that I must indeed be satan in human form. What did I do to deserve this wrath? Love her, see that she got into an awesome school, then make sure she always had supper....scratch that. I lie. I will not lie in any post, and that is a promise. I did not cook for my children. I am sorry. I did do homework with them and I still do. Only after 6th grade. Alright.....I promised 5th grade math (happy) I can not help them. But thankfully, they have never needed my help. In fact, they have both declined my offer of homeschooling even though the almost 11 year old boy hates school. They are simply so smart, they know their education would suffer terribly if they let Mom homeschool them.
Okay, I am tired. I can not do this forever but I did promise that I would write about some sensitive subjects and indeed I will. I do not care anymore, because I have decided to become a better person, and I will, one blog, one day, one cup of coffee with real whipping cream at a time together with whomever is crazy, bored or just plain unlucky enough to stumble across the life of me. I have some doozies guys but stay tuned. I have a feeling its all going to get really bumpy just before the calm. may you lie down tonight wherever you are with thoughts of the Savior in your head because if we do not have anything, and trust me, most of us do not, we do have Him. I am so friggin glad I do. Peace yall. See ya tomorrow where I will tell you how to make the most amazing thing you have ever seen